oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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