he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
