ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize