I'm really into asian looking animals
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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