Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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