He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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