There was a lot of him and a little penis
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
