porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
