I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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