The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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