I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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