Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
