i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
