He had one of those small greek statue penises
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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