What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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