plz talk dirty to me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
