When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
