"it" just moved
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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