so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize