You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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