Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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