I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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