Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
