Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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