his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
