Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
