im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
