the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
