so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize