Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
