The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
