Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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