Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
