2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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