He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
