we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
