did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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