I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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