Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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