Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
