So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize