thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
