look no pants
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
