Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
