Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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