I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Alive.
So much puke
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
