my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
