I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
