we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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