Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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