R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So apparently I’m into choking now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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