chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
