I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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