p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
