so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
