I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
