he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
