Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
