he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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