please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
