ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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